From REDACTED: "The ancient Sumerians never would've invented writing if they knew you people would use it to text each other filth such as 'Your ass is out of this world'":

Fortunately, Sumerians loved to fuck and had plenty of hymns to gods and kings such as the hit balbale 'Who Will Plow Her?', with lines like:

"I'm young! Who's going to plow my wet pussy? *
I'm dignified! Who's going to park their ox here?" 

* The radio edit was "sow my vulva, an irrigated field".

Another one for the King Shu-Suen (you can use your imagination for this one):

"My God, that alewife: her beer is good!
Like her beer, her pussy is good (her beer is good)!
Like the mouth of a canal, her pussy is good (her beer is good)!
Her sprinkling water (her beer is good)!"